As much as Overlord makes fun of the bacon craze, she can’t really leave it alone.  Agent Beryllium recently posted a fairly accurate imagining of the Over-lair kitchen.

Behold:  Last weekend’s project, the chocolate chip potato chip bacon cookie.

These were all about texture.

The last bacon cookie I made had rendered bacon fat creamed into the butter and sugar.  That is a really good way to get heartburn.

These were adapted from the Momofuku Milk Bar cookbook’s compost cookie recipe.  They’re a lot smaller, and I used maple syrup instead of glucose, but I did use a high fat butter and spent a really long time whipping it.  The result was a much lighter, crispy on the outside bacon cookie.

Potato chips stay crispy in cookie dough for a really long time.  Happy adventures in overkill.

On Sunday morning I woke up early and saw a dense, dense fog outside my window. I threw some boots and a coat over my pajamas and quickly walked down to the water front for some pictures before it lifted.

Overlord has been on this walk dozens of times, and I’ve got scores of pictures, but I was really lucky to catch this. Visibility was low, the sun was barely up, street lamps were still on, and I couldn’t see the other side of the river.

I’m currently cheating on a 365 project, affectionately named 36KILL.  There You can see the sprinkles I put on my pancakes.

Happy 2012, year of the Minion.

My favorite part of I like Killing Flies, all the way at the end, but completely worth reaching.

Your first duty in life is to realize that you are a piece of shit.

Last week The Overlord and one of her friends joined forces to make a Vlad the Impaler themed gingerbread scene.

Mrs. Ty-LAR is very good at all of the things this Evil Overlord is not:  patience, measuring, patience….needless to say if I had attempted this on my own it wouldn’t have turned out this well…

The epic gummy massacre:

It really is deceptively cute from a distance, bringing you in for a full on WTF moment up close…

Many thanks to my pastry partner.  Next year?  A Josef Mengele house full of marzipan midgets and twins.  Too far?  Maybe?

Happy Happy Übermas!

Cyriak is clearly aware of Ubermas.

The Overlord absolutely loves reading The Art of Manliness.  Weird, I know, but not really.  Yeah, I’m a chick, but I can throw a kettle bell around for two solid minutes before complaining that I’m sore all week.

In this home-spun little city that The-Great-and-Evil-Overlord calls home it is popular, very popular, to adopt a sort of old-timey image.  Beards and sweaters and wood chopping and all that.  It’s a total facade, these Man-Children just stopped shaving and turned in their jerseys for bow ties, but they’re trying. Deep down they know.  They’re hiding that big, soft, gooey center of privilege and entitlement bred into our generation, but at least they know…

Anywho…I stumbled across this entry on How to Make a Citizen’s Arrest.  Since two of my three readers are into that sort of thing, I thought I’d post it.  Unfortunately there isn’t any advice on wearing a  costume…

If you see a bad guy commit a felony, but he’s unarmed and isn’t fleeing, reasonable force would probably be grabbing his arm and saying, “I’m putting you under a citizen’s arrest until the police get here.”

Doing a flying jump kick to his sternum and then putting him in a sleeper hold while whispering ”shhhh…go to sleep my sweet little evil one” would probably be considered excessive force, and you could be liable for any injuries you may have caused the bad guy.

Also, nothing about bear mace or crack pipes….but the Übermas gift guide is excellent.  Get your minions some  mustache wax and things that smell like whiskey and leather.

It is difficult to pin point the beginning of the Season of Übermas, the most illegitimate of holidays.  Villains are a greedy lot, sponging up every blood soaked day we can get, some crying Übermas as early as Halloween.

For The Overlord, Übermas begins with the Feast of the Dark Lord of Krelm.  The legend and traditions vary slightly from region to region, but the standards hold true:

Selecting a decorative bloody stake for the lair, symbolizing the post-feast genocide of the indigenous peoples of Krelmordian.  According to the legend, Krelm and his minions only broke bread with the heathens once, because they couldn’t stand the smell.  The land was once littered with these large, sharp pillars of wood, cleaning up the remainder of those gentle peoples after a particularly violent outbreak of syphilis.

The infamous list of demands to the great Dark God.  If you’re a lucky Villain, Krelm himself may pay you a visit on Übermas Eve.  Nine times out of ten the answer is simply “NO.”, but a visit from the most infamous is an honer in and of itself.  You should, however, make your demands with care.  The last time a demand was granted an ambitious young Villain had asked for the gift of infinite persuasion, and Lord Malignance was born.  He hasn’t stopped talking since.

There is of course the parade of ten thousand minions Krelm Feast morning.  The feast itself has come to include Turkey in modern times, which symbolizes the Harpy slain by Krelm’s party so long ago.  Harpy meat is strictly black market now, and a pretty penny to be sure.

A great and sinister feast to all of you.  Stuff your faces, annoy your next of kin, and drink yourselves into a stupor.  Finally, Übermas is here!

Incognito. First up on the Villainous reading list, this one has lots of pictures.

It’s about a Villain. He’s cornered into ratting out his organization, and ends up trapped in an office job under witness protection. Nuff’ said?

Overlord is currently obsessed with sea foam and cotton candy hair. Currently, I’m still rocking the faded deep blue/green that blends so well with my natural almost black.

I’ve always leaned towards dark, dark and more dark with a splash of red. All the red had to be pushed to the back of the closet this year, as it clashes horribly with peacock hair, so I’ve lightened up a bit.

Wide eyed and pretty doesn’t have to be unbecoming of a Villain.  I think it’s perfectly deceptive.

Pastel pictures I’ve been lusting after in Tumblr:

This first one is my very favorite. She has a minty frothy dip dye, but there’s still an edginess.  Round glasses remind me of The Professional, always.

I am the Overlord.  I enjoy drinking hot cocoa and making frosty comments.  I think cannibalism is funny.  This is my favorite time of year, because my toes are perpetually cold.  Some of my hobbies include taking bad pictures and talking to my cats.

I used to have a site affectionately named “Evil as a Lifestyle Choice”.  There were a few rad posts, but I got bored and killed it in the middle of the night.  The spirit of freeevil dot com lives here, on this blank slate, with the same logo because I’m too cheap to pay for a new one.

We’re all hoping www.minionstew.com will know it’s place, stop talking back, and learn to live and fight another day.

A quick few words about Minion Stew:

2 pounds minion, cut into 1 inch cubes
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 clove crushed garlic
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 onion, medium dice
2 cups minion broth
3 potatoes, diced
4 carrots, diced
1 stalk celery, diced

Minions tend to be tough skinned but weak in will power.  Cow is to beef as henchman is to minion.  You’d think by the look of them that their flavor would be somewhat beefy, but it’s really more like pork.  They have short attention spans.

I like the way this place looks after a good scrub down.  Overlord has always had a problem with holding down the delete button a little too long.  Nothing is ever good enough, and new beginnings are oh-so-tempting.  I am, after all, an Evil Overlord, hell bent on bathing the land in fire and what not…